Last week was a confusing week of joy and sadness.
The Lord gave me noticeable reminders that this is indeed a transition time….On Sunday, we moved our oldest son to a dorm at his college, after he had lived at home the first semester. I’m so excited for him, since my own dorm experience was fantastic. But I’m sooooo going to miss him! He has kept me updated on some things via texting, so there’s not a complete void of his voice, but his presence, his laughter, his playfulness are not here every evening anymore…
My second-oldest son is a senior in high school, which is totally transition anyway. To think otherwise is denial. I’m enjoying our interactions and watching him enjoy his friends. His laugh captivates my heart. So I’m savoring it now, each time I hear it, while I can.
My third oldest son began his driver’s education process, with the classroom component last Tuesday night. And he keeps asking me, with a mischievous smile, when he can get his own phone. He reminds me that it would be convenient for him to keep me updated on where he is and with whom. Sigh. I KNOW, son, really, I do!
And last Thursday morning, I couldn’t believe the way my youngest son sounded. His voice had dropped an octave, overnight. Yes, it still goes back to the “usual” voice from time to time, but his new voice is increasingly evident. I won’t be hearing any “young boy” voice in the house anymore; only the voices of young men. Sigh.
I have LOVED the journey of being the mom of these four amazing young men. They have captivated my heart in different ways; made me proud and delighted; turned my hair gray; shared their joys and hard moments with me; brought me joy in seeing them grow into being who God created them to be; and brought amazing depth and growth into my own heart. I want to savor each moment, each day, that I have with them; give them undivided attention when they have something to share with me; somehow let them know what an incredible gift each one has been to me….
So my mother’s heart is in major conflict, seeing the changes, savoring the “now,” while feeling sad that the “now” really is only for a time. It seems that each stage of life is a receiving and a letting go. May my eyes be open to the gift of “now,” since I’ll have time to be sad when they’re gone….